Train to Zakopané (2017) Reviews

• I'd rather get hit by a Train

  owrowslife2018-05-24

  I came across this film by accident, and boy was it a detrimental accident! A friend bought tickets for the wrong show. I figured no big deal this film is gonna have the actors & director do a Q&A. How bad could it be if the director and actors are so confident to do a Q&A after, Right? WRONG. During the first two minutes you'll notice some pretty horrific acting, setup, costume, etc. . A few more minutes in and you will know wretched agony!!!! Every minute feels like eternity, and for the rest of the bloody film you'll find yourself scowling and wishing death at every worthless stupid character in this "film" It is inconceivable that anyone could make a film this hopelessly, endlessly, mind-meltingly horrific. This is not a bad movie - it's a war crime. *Accents come and go with wild abandon *The dialogue is that witless and badly phrased. *the chemistry is illogical and hideous *every single person is reprehensible, unlikable, stupid, and utterly lifeless This is the worst film I have ever seen. I actually felt like I accomplished something by watching this. Check off the bucket list for enduring a new form of waterboarding. There were no redeeming qualities about this film. I am lighthearted, and like lots of movies people consider bad (Troll 2, Satan's little helper, The Room, etc.), I can usually laugh at films that I myself find bad. This movie got a few beginning laughs as a plea to insanity, and due to my inner monologue of every "scene". In the end I only felt rage, scowl, and a MASSIVE headache. I felt robbed watching it and felt I could have done something more useful with my time like watch leaves fall, do jumping jacks, call my ex, go to church. Please don't watch this. If you do at least have friends with you and keep any sharp objects away. 0/10 stars.

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