The Coven (2015) Reviews

• The Coven should be stuck in the oven.

  chrismackey19722015-02-22

  I'm asking Hermione Granger to do her obliviate spell on me so I can forget I ever watched this movie. It had an interesting premise. When you cross The Craft with Ghost Rider and The Blair Witch Project, it equals WHO CARES?! This is more like a found footage film about a bunch of characters I couldn't care less about. It was done on low-budge...at least it seemed that way. Filming in the woods for the most part is going to cut down on the budget. That's fine, because I love the forest atmosphere. Some people had a problem with the acting. That wasn't the case with me. I thought the actors/actresses did an appropriate job for the characters they played. My problem with the movie was the overall storyline. What was the point of having Mrs. Belial in the movie at all? She wasn't the one chasing them in the woods. I thought the parts with her were total waste because it didn't really fit in with the rest of the movie. Was she supposed to be Lucifer? Or was the biker Lucifer? Or was Lucifer nothing more than just an acronym of the victims at the end? They didn't clarify that. Dexter Fletcher was interesting, and I wish they kept the POV on him instead of the kids in the forest. Because the POV was mostly on those girls, the story slowed drastically with their drinking, games, and silliness in the forest. Out of all the girl's, Eve's character was the most interesting, but that's not saying much, because she didn't do very much. She was more like the storyline's information dump for the viewer, because she's the only one who did any kind of research. When the girls texted her for help...first of all, did one of the girls text her? Or did the witch, Lucifer...whoever text her? And was that forest in Eve's backyard? It had to be close enough for her to walk there in her pajamas. The letters on the chalkboard moving around was a bad special effect. Why they kept showing it, I don't know. I got it, OK?! I know the words spelled out Lucifer. It really wasn't all that clever. And they kept doing it. Ugh! I have to give credit to the composer of the music during the credits. That was soothing and at the same time haunting. However, I didn't think the movie was worth sitting through for that. I gave the movie a 3-star rating. I can't recommend. It was nowhere near as bad as some horror films I've seen, but I was so bored for the most part, especially with the girls in the forest. They were the lead characters, but I couldn't connect with any of them. They struck me as a clique of rebellious girls who were not likable at all. Either watch The Craft, Ghost Rider, The Blair Witch Project, or have a marathon of all three.

• It sucked!!!!

  hnhbullies2015-02-24

  I wish I could get the time back that I invested in watching this craptastic film. My 4 year old has a better imagination and acting skills then half of this elementary school cast. What was the plot of this film? It was all over the place and the acting was atrocious! I thought I was watching something a kid had filmed and wrote there was no point in even wasting what money they put in this film. I'm so happy I didn't waste my own money on purchasing it and rented it instead. I even told the movie place to throw it in the trash or place a sign above it saying "Please don't waste your time on this movie!!!!!" What more can be said.....lol

• Waste of time

  panther_husky2015-02-24

  This was one of the worst movies I have seen. Boring and a total waste of time. Some of the information mentioned in the film (which I wont give away) was completely and utterly stupid and wrong. That aside, the film wasted too much time on the girls when it could have spent more time giving the audience more of the history of what actually happened in the past. There were times where I felt that the girls didn't feel like acting and slurred their lines, sometimes a little difficult to understand as well. The teenage boy (where the hell did they find this one) was not convincing and you just wanted him to vanish. Finally, there were scenes where you were able to piece together the story and once you got that, a sigh of relief that you made it through to the end. It was hard and managed to keep my hands away from the remote control. The stop button was calling out to me. Blair Witch meets The Craft ...... School girls vs the mystery in the woods. Nothing new, nothing interesting and nothing special. Watch your cat sleeping, it's more entertaining.

• This film is brilliant...

  spiral54412015-03-05

  ...as an example of why nepotism needs to be completely eradicated for the good of humanity. Watching this, I found myself wondering why whoever was in charge of the casting for this film had hired 3 kids with no acting ability whatsoever alongside a bunch of noticeably more competent actors. Cynically I thought to myself "meh, the kids in question are probably related to the casting director or something". So as soon as this dreadful film finally came to an end, I popped onto IMDb to check if my suspicions were correct. Indeed they were, in fact it seems this entire film was something of a family project; the director being John Mackie, the writer being Jayney Mackie, and the three similarly talentless kids being Cloe Mackie, Holly Mackie, and Billy Red Mackie. Oh and there's even a Rory Mackie listed as the "digital imaging technician". A crappy film is one thing, but depressingly this also reflects one of the biggest problems we face as a species in this day and age: many people performing the most important jobs in the world are only there because of family connections and inherited wealth, titles and opportunities, rather than getting there on their own merit. So thank you to The Mackie Family for spearheading this deepest of social problems that our world is currently riddled with; I realise it wasn't your intention to do so, but your efforts illustrate beautifully why this rigged and unjust system needs to be destroyed by any means necessary.

• A horror film you can safely let your tween watch.

  d-hellier642015-03-17

  The woods at night. A bunch of teenagers up for a bit of fun and some truth in the historical facts of this story all make for a horror film that is safe for your Tween to watch. My daughter loves the Mackie twins and of course wants to watch anything with them in so I was relieved to find the story, which has it's base in reality, provided a gentle horror with no gore or unnecessary bad language and she really enjoyed it. Judging by the credits this film looks to be something of a family affair! I kind of liked the idea of a family spending time together making a film. I also liked Dexter Fletcher and his Harry Potter style classroom. Clearly a low budget film, there were no earth shattering special effects or graphics, just honest and basic story telling.