Ardennes Fury (2014) Reviews

• Managed to confuse this with Fury, another film

  livecac2014-11-22

  I'm not usually one to pick on small details or historical inaccuracy, but this was too much. Having wasted 90 minutes of my life, the least I could do now is help spare someone else from the same fate. A point form summary of why/how this film is awful, in the order I noticed them when I was watching it. Here's the last and arguably most laughable part. I'd almost suggest you get the movie simply for this part simply because of it near- comedic aspect. That's all I can remember off the top of my head, but there's undoubtedly so much more.

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• Awful, with sci-fi fighting scenes and tactics

  un12014-11-11

  4 minutes into the movie, and you're already presented with the Germans driving a T-34-85 without any German markings, in fact it still has the Soviet Red star. Worse is the fact that the German infantry is, unhistorical, fighting: 1) in front of the tanks; 2) too close to to the tank; 3) German tank crews using the commander's cupola during a fight and getting shot, which is both down right stupid and unhistorical 4) German tanks fighting American tanks in 20 meters radius or less in open ground. I don't mind about the visual effects that seem to be from early 2000s PC game about World War 2, in quality, but I can make a recommendation to the producers in using a real life Hetzer and/or Panzer IV H instead of a real life Soviet T-34-85 to depict a German real life vehicle, as the Hetzers are cheap and readily found and still made for historical reenactment events all over Europe, and along with the Panzer IV, were one of the most produced German vehicles in the entire war, and it also makes no sense to depict (computer generated) German Tiger 1 tanks standing so close to each other. So besides the stereotype in American movies that German soldiers are some idiots that can't fight, you can also see things like most of the actors being a bit too old and fat to serve on the front as they are presented(normal, low ranked, soldiers), a guy having a cigar in his mouth but without being lit; a Wolverine(M10 tank destroyer) being called a tank, while it's trying to flank the T-34-85 which is spinning it's turret 360 degrees for no apparent reason; a German Volkssturm sitting in from of a German tank that's trying to fire at another Wolverine 20 meters ahead of them, and said Volkssturm troops shooting a German soldier and American soldier with his pistol apparently unconcerned about the battle(the T-34-85's gunner and the rest of the crew also seem unconcerned about the infantry fight right next to them); a tropical(*sarcasm) rain in France stopping 1 second after two soldiers finish talking, the camera changes, and they decide to attack; said soldiers throwing hand grenades into the T-34-85's driver's hatch and commander's cupola which the Germans were nice enough to leave open in battle, against all logic and military tactics; the Wolverine then decides to go solo inside heavy forested enemy territory with no prior scouting, and again the Germans dumb enough to shoot them with light rifle fire and from the front, as soon as they spot the Wolverine, instead of waiting for the Americans to pass by them so they can shoot from behind; then the Americans doing a Rambo and killing off every German they meet in the forest with no effort, as they keep moving, and apparently none of the Germans had a grenade, a Panzerfaust or anti-tank grenades(considering it was an open top Wolverine, any grenade would do, regardless); the Wolverine magically remaining without fuel although it has an operational range of almost 200 miles; the Evil German™ military, in all it's wisdom, starts prioritizing an orphanage's nun over the American army, because the Evil German™ is also a Very Dumb Chaotic Evil German™; then followed by Non-Evil American™ airforce about to liberate™ and bring tons of democracy™ via strategic bombardment over a forested area, surrounding countryside and the said orphanage, then the black US soldier trying to convince the sergeant to save the ORPHANS from the tons of democracy™ by saying "they might not be our kids, but they are someone's kids", then the Americans suddenly start caring about the safety of random civilians(while the US government historically ordered the bombings of most cities in Europe and Asia with massive civilian deaths) that the Evil Germans™ hold hostage(although with no real value for any sides to do so), etc... 1/10 don't bother with this.

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• A waste of life

  mwbell20002014-11-29

  I normally watch and shrug off bad movies but this was so bad I have to ask why was it made in the first place? The acting was wooden; the dialog stilted as if written by a foreigner with limited American. Every cliché was there - heroic suicides; the trusty black sergeant; the foot on the mine; the evil Nazi. At every turn the plot was more and more incredible. The heroic mother whose children run off not once but twice. There was the ticking clock which ticked way beyond the deadline. There was the baddie surviving a direct hit from a bomb. The regulation fight to the death with knives. I am 72 with too few hours left on this earth to waste on trash like this.

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• Scam is what it is.

  mharvey-3-9107062014-11-29

  This is an obvious attempt to confuse buyers who are looking for a major motion picture with a similar name. This is not the first time this has been done, nor will it likely be the last.The hasty DVD buyer, be it for himself or purchased as a gift, will see the prominent word "Fury" and think he's picked the right one. This is a common scam and some two-bit "production company" will make a few bucks on this junk. You can search the word "mockbusters" and find plenty of examples of copycat films and/or titles attempting to capitalize on the publicity and public interest about a quality, big budget film. The sad part is that once purchased it will be too late for the victims of this deception.

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• Very bad in so many ways but nowhere near among The Asylum's worst

  TheLittleSongbird2014-12-11

  Ardennes Fury is a very poorly done movie that does more wrong than it does right, but ranking it in The Asylum consistently dubious filmography it is nowhere near their worst. It at least has some very nice scenery and some of the pacing is tolerable, but Ardennes Fury had a low-budget and had little time to be made and unfortunately it does show. There are worse-looking Asylum movies around, at least the scenery looks like scenery and not like someone's basement or a deserted factory, but the camera work and editing are incredibly rushed and erratic, the special effects are artificial at best and look like over-sized toys and the movie is shot far too drably. The music is loud but not dynamic and could have done with more pulse, some of it is overly-loud drone-like, the best parts not being very memorable. The dialogue has a lot of military jargon and they're often incorporated in a clumsy way, the script itself is very stilted and disjointedly structured. There is at least a story here, the problem is it is also very basic and repetitive, granted it's good to keep things simple sometimes but when not much happens it actually feels simplistic instead. The dramatic parts lack any kind of heart and veer on overwrought while the battle scenes are erratically edited and have very little spirit and intensity. Much has been said already about the inaccuracies there are here(as well as the kitchen-sink-like clichés Ardennes Fury has), but this review is not going to comment on them other than that some of the inaccuracies are so blatant and wrong that it's ridiculous but rather on the movie's merits(or lack of). The characters are too stock and underwritten to be interesting, and while there is effort to show some conflicts and consequences there's very little if any emotional depth behind them. The acting is stiff across the board especially from the villains, who are also overacted too and hugely unconvincing as Germans. Overall, The Asylum has done much worse than Ardennes Fury, but Ardennes Fury regardless of the effort it did make had very little good going for it. 2/10 Bethany Cox

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