American Battleship (2012) Reviews

• simply awful

  seanz-390-7451252012-08-10

  I could write a long review about everything awful that but simply put probably one of the worst films i have ever seen. Some films are so bad they are actually quite good but there is nothing positive about this film. The Navy SEAL's in Act Of Valour acted better than anyone in this film. the special effects are so bad it isn't even funny.This so reminds me of another rip off Battle of Los Angeles. Why bother i feel like i've lost ninety minutes of my life. Remakes are one thing but to blatantly rip off another film so soon after it was released and to put so little effort into it is a waste of time. There are so many films out there worthy of watching this is not one of them.

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• Do not watch this movie.

  harrybarracuda2012-05-15

  It's a shame you can't give less than 1/10, because this is the biggest steaming pile of guano I've seen in a long time (and I just watched "No Body Found). Appalling cliché-ridden script, pathetic acting, woeful special effects, about the only thing that I can guarantee if you watch this is that it will probably make your eyes and ears bleed. As others have, it was obviously knocked together to try and get some business of the back of "Battleship", but the budget for that was $200 million. There's actually no budget for this on IMDb, perhaps they're too embarrassed to say just how cheap it was to make, because I've seen film students make better quality material. Avoid at all costs.

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• Still trying to get over how bad this movie was

  TheLittleSongbird2012-07-01

  I try not to make it a habit of down-grading the SyFy movies, as there are a few out there that are watchable. However, they have done a lot of cheap and badly written and acted movies, and for me American Warships is one of their worst recent examples. It does look cheap for starters, with choppy editing, scenery/settings that doesn't look that authentic(including the ship actually) and very slapdash at best special effects that further suffer from bad texture and heavy over-use. The script is often aimless with cheesy one-liners, the music is often over-bearing and at a sluggish tempo and the characters are little more than underdeveloped clichés(I have yet to see a SyFy movie character that I actually identify with). The story goes at a dull pace and doesn't generate any sort of thrills or fun, everything also feels very predictable in that you anticipate what's happening next constantly. And looking at the logic here, I would genuinely be surprised if SyFy did any kind of research before doing the film whether geographically and scientifically. Apart from a pretty likable Johanna Watts, the acting is poor, either phoned-in or too eager to please. Overall, a waste of time. 1/10 Bethany Cox

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• The worst thing I've ever seen

  hjassol2012-05-20

  We all know that Mario Van Peebles will never be mistaken for DeNiro, but he reaches new lows for acting in this awful mess. A cardboard cutout of a Naval officer would have had the same impact on screen. Of course, he had no script, no plot and no supporting actors either, so his only fault may have been accepting the role in this piece of junk. Director Thunder Levin should never be allowed near a movie set again. In fact, him calling himself a director is like me calling myself the dictator of a small South American country. I am nothing of the sort but, neither is he. I did pick up some interesting info while watching this crapfest, though, such as: When a US Navy ships Captain rescues one of his female officers from under a piece of armor plating, they then roll around on the deck and make out a lot. When in battle, a US Navy ships crew does virtually nothing except stand around on deck, waving their arms and shouting "YAY!". There is always a five foot long piece of two-inch iron pipe lying around on the deck of a US Navy battleship, in case you have to stop a rolling 16 inch artillery shell from crushing you. Carl Weathers would be better off spending his time at the horse track, eating sardine sandwiches and betting 50 cent trifectas. There is nothing redeeming about this, uh, "movie". The acting is wooden, the CGI is so amateurish it's laughable, and the plot is ridiculous. Next time, I'll paint a wall and just sit watching it dry, my time would be better spent.

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• 1950's B grade for the 21st Century

  anthonyparra2012-10-15

  This movie reminded me very much of those 1950's science fiction movies I grew up with. Poor acting at time laughable special effects a plot so full of holes you could steer a battleship threw but still enjoyable for what it is a bit of fun science fiction made on a tight budget. Although the plot lines are similar I actually enjoyed this move far more than "Battleship" which I felt over relied on CGI. The Alien ships where simple and didn't take 5 minutes just to change it's self into some type of transformer. Look if your looking for a summer block buster with massive CGI your going to hate this movie however if you just look at it as bit of science fluff it's enjoyable and quite frankly a damn site better than many science fiction movies made on the cheap.

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