Alpha House (2014) Reviews

• OK, I guess.

  bbickley13-921-586642014-06-01

  The movie deserved the overall three it got but I'm giving it two extra points for the Great nudity. It's good to have Great nudity when your movie is weak. And the movie is kinda weak. The story is about a Frat house that is forced to share a house with a Sorority, and both sides come up with a plan to get rid the other, so they can have the house to themselves. The movie is really by-the-numbers and you can kinda guess what happens once the Situation is reveled, which happens early in the movie. Maybe if the movie was a little more even with the ladies vs. the men situation. Girls are smart and clean, boys are like animals, I get it. but the awesome amount of T&A in the flick totally leans the whole thing to a male perceptive no matter how much you try to even it out in the story. Totally worth seeing for the tons of naked women, but no point if you are not into that.

• It is great that we live in a country where....

  A_Different_Drummer2014-05-11

  ... anyone can become president (trust me on this) and anyone can make a movie. No, seriously. It's all good. It's about freedom and, as everyone knows, we're all about freedom these days. In 1978 ANIMAL HOUSE (which, embarrassed to say, I saw in a theatre when released) was done by a major director (John Landis) and starred not one but actually bout a half-dozen recognizable stars including the incredible John Belushi and Harold Ramis. Flash forward 36 years and, through the miracle of direct-to-video technology, writer/director Jacob Cooney has produced this knock-off. Which, to be fair, is really more off than knock. There are no recognizable stars here (most of the bios of the players have the words "up and coming" in them which, in view of the content of this film, may possibly have a double meaning) but that too makes sense, because Cooney himself, prior to this, has mainly credits as "assistant-this" and "co-that." To these tired old eyes, it looks like the aforesaid Mr. Cooney simply got tired of waiting for lightening to strike on its own (which according to Google, is a 1 in 3000 chance) so he rounded up a bunch of youngsters in the exact same situation and said, hey, I know, LETS MAKE A MOVIE. Nothing wrong with that. I watched Mickey Rooney do something similar with Judy Garland in a bunch of films, and THAT always worked out nicely.... OK, back to this movie ... err .. video. The core premise is that a bunch of nerds from a failing fraternity end up, because of university politics, having to share quarters with a bunch of women who are all very pretty, very cranky, not especially bright, and love to spend all their free time - no, NOT STUDYING! - either exercising in the nude or sleeping in the nude of just doing nude-oriented things. I am pretty sure that was the logline for the project. "Pretty women with a quasi-nudist lifestyle forced to share frat house with unknown actors..." or something like that. Financing must have been a snap. Anyway, in the interests of my small but loyal IMDb readership, I dutifully watched this film looking for such things as humor, audience connection, entertainment value, and so on. By the end of my search, I would have been happy just to find evidence that these kids were working from an actual script... But I digress. The current IMDb rating, as I write this, is a 4. That could possibly be a tad high .... you have been warned.

• Not bad if you don't have high hopes

  NinjaXCV2018-12-28

  The story is not only cliche but just plain unbelievable. But if you're just expecting some cheesey entertainment and great nude scenes, then this is worth a watch. It's like Anerican Pie meets Animal House with less laughs and more boobs. The writers obviously were never part of a fraternity and may have never gone to college by they way they portray college life and rules that govern them. On top of that the plans that the guys and girls execute to get back at each other don't even make sense. You won't understand what the goal or their plan was. But its all an excuse to show some good nude scenes. And the women are gorgeous. I bought this movie on a discount rack for $1 and for that price I wasn't disappointed.

• Wannabe American Pie

  Baghdaddy2014-05-11

  The title and rating sort of speaks for itself. Alpha House is an attempt at being as successful as the American Pie series, with a specific emphasis on changing the plot a bit to American Pie Beta House. The story tells of Zack and Cameron, whom have just joined their fraternity of a lifetime. This dream soon turns out to be a living nightmare as the Associate Dean allows a sorority to live with the fraternity. The Dean has an ulterior motive, whilst allowing the frat and sorority people to battle it out and get each other kicked out of the house. The story line, whilst eventful, is abject, the acting is pretty horrendous and the only thing saving this film is that it borders on soft-core pornography, and some of the females in this are stunningly beautiful. The film is dreadfully exaggerated, with the boys incredibly bothered by living with a sorority full of beautiful women. And the use of catch phrases such as "boomerang" is incredibly random and a horrendous effort to engage the audience. Only thing saving this film from a lower review is soft-core pornographic content.

• terrible

  jake-znidaric2015-01-09

  This is definitely the absolute WORST movie i have seen in a while. Its a horrible movie thats covered up by nudity because its so poorly written and scripted, with terrible actors. PLEASE refrain from watching this movie. I would rather watch bubble guppies for 48 hours straight with my nephew, than watch this stupid, pathetic, rip off piece of junk that was most likely made in 1 day! I can honestly say that i wish this wasn't on netflix so i wouldn't have to waste 88 minutes watching it and another 15 on setting up an account and making this review to help anyone questioning watching it. Since i need one more line to submit i will now tell you to go watch the supernatural series or teen wolf.