7 Guardians of the Tomb (2018) Reviews

• So bad it's wonderful!

  mk572018-02-27

  Take a bevy of actors and give them an awful script with risible dialogue and you get this...a small group overacting and running around an old Star Trek set. Stef Dawson's character 'Milly Piper' could've died after she first open her mouth as far as I'm concerned, she's THAT bad. The quest to find a lost brother is their aim, except for Kelsey Grammer's Mason who is really trying to track down the elixir of life...bwah ha haaaa (twirls imaginary moustache). The main threat to their journey is hundreds upon hundreds of deadly spiders who appear to be made of black shiny leather and can hiss and squeak...Yes, you read that right...hiss and squeak. By all means, watch this, suspend all disbelief, let the film wash over you and drown in its ridiculousness. It's a real hoot, soon to be considered a classic amongst godawful movies that you can say "Yes...I sat through that film and survived." Now go and enjoy!

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• Wow.... What can I say.

  clarethebear2018-09-05

  This film was begging for Nicholas Cage. Dr Fraser Crane held the post but there's nothing that some good old fashioned Nic Cage wooden acting wouldn't have done to put this film up in the Oscar nominee category. If you like spiders that growl, ok-ish CGI, sets where cast walk through one door (scene cuts) and they walk back through the same door the other way to a different mediocre set .... then this bad boy is for you!! Likes: 1) the spiders are considerate enough to always leave a web free safe passage for the cast tonthe next scene 2) these spiders have learnt to growl - it's about time our arachnid friends had a voice 3) Kelsey Grammer accent keeps you guessing and on the edge of your seat for the length of the whole flick Dislikes: no Nicholas Cage. Summary: You'll be gutted if you don't watch this and the awards start rolling in at the oscars, baftas etc etc etc etc. **SPOILER*** The only thing that would make the plot and cast of this film better is if 'Fraisers' 'Niles' popped up at the end and rescued his brothers soul.

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• Give it a chance.

  finesherry2018-02-25

  Sometimes you get fed up of Hollywood films and big blockbusters. Saw the trailer to this, thought it looked ok. Well watched it, and must say I enjoyed it. It was not brilliant, but neither rubbish, but I thought it was good, well it entertained me for an hour and half. Isn't that what films are supposed to do, entertain. Give it a watch, it aint that bad.

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• Wow

  JohnSwerdan2018-02-01

  I was, forced to watch this movie. I saw the trailer and thought "That looks terrible" then I watched the movie and... it was terrible. It is getting a 2/10 because it made me laugh a couple times, so it did bring a little pleasure to my life. The key issues was the inclusion of a character that had no purpose, literally zero. The constant explanation on things that didn't need to be explained. Seriously, there are too many times that a question is asked and then BAM the answer is over-explained the audience is stupid or something. Which leads to a fair bit of the dialogue being boring and poorly written. There is one scene that is amazing thought because it is so funny. So you will get at least one good laugh at t he movie.

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• Fair to Middling Movie

  jimkennyeverett-691-7608332018-03-21

  I was looking forward to this Movie, but alarm bells went off the moment it started. The Direction is shocking and it doesn't matter how good an actor you are if the director is poor you are going to come over as the worst actor ever. I like Kelsey Grammer and Kellen Lutz but both don't come out of this very well, it says a lot when the big hairy Australian comedy relief character comes out of it better than the actors you paid the big money too. The special effects were half decent and spiders were quite scary and it seems the movie had a decent budget. They just let it go horribly wrong. The movie was primarily funded by Australia and China so I would have said that Russell Mulcahy would have been an ideal Director choice. They chose someone else and this is the end result. What should have been a 7/10 is actually a 5. Disappointing.

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