Robert (2015) Reviews

• Literally painful to watch it was so bad

  karlycarman2016-05-14

  I don't normally write film reviews but feel like I owe it to potential watchers of this movie to write one. First of all, the people that gave this movie 7/8 put of 10.. have you ever actually seen a decent horror movie?! The acting if you can call it that was beyond terrible. Literally painful and cringey to watch. Felt like they were all auditioning for a commercial or something. This could have been so much better had they used decent actors and a slightly bigger budget. Also did anyone notice that the movie was filmed inside a hotel?! Nothing about the movie felt genuine and I didn't expect much from the movie but didn't realize it would be this bad! Please save yourselves the time and watch a proper horror movie instead. 'The Boy' for example is a great doll horror with a great twist.

• Horrendously stiff character and acting will make audience root for the evil doll

  quincytheodore2015-08-29

  It's inevitable that Robert will be compared to Chucky and Annabelle, which is probably the pitch this movie going for. Neither dolls are perfectly harrowing, but even then Robert has no right of being lined with them. The movie is strictly poorly written and acted. Characters do nothing but scream to each other, and even worse, the wife is so unsympathetically annoying she makes the movie unbearable. You know the story already, a creepy doll talking to the kid and ruining the family. However, the worse criminal is the wife with her ear-rupturing high pitch voice. One can argue that the boy is expressionless or the husband seems detached, they are nothing compared to the terrible delivery of the wife. She literally screeches and shouts the entire movie, it's a torture beyond what the family has to deal with on-screen. It's like hearing dying animal every five minutes. Plot doesn't go beyond the typical "who did it" theme and the paranoid wife. It move so horribly slow, when it hits one hour mark it only tells stuff other movies had done in half the span. The horror itself consists of poor editing worse than old stop footage movie. It feels amateurish at best and completely ruins the thrill, which barely exists in the first place. When an inanimate object with creepy face plastered on it has better screen presence than the character, you know you're in for a terrible ride.

• Waste of time and money

  smthegamer2015-08-27

  I'm no stranger to bad scripts and stupid characters in horror films, but this film had me thinking it was written on bring your kid to work day. The Wife is an emotional mess that will believe anything, the son shows hardly any emotion towards anything that happens, the husband is a stereotypical 'my wife is crazy but I'll play along' guy... the only character that's worth being in the film is Robert, and he's hardly in it! Every scene had me re-evaluating what I considered a bad movie, which is a shame considering the potential it had; great graphics, a brilliant killer doll story, set in England. But alas it just wasn't to be, with the women all shown to be weak, the men being imbeciles and the doll practically not even doing anything most of the time (the film focuses on the poorly written Wife). If you like bad movies get this one, but if you're looking for something decent to watch for whatever reason, steer clear of this film like it'll give you Bubonic Plague.

• Huh?

  steveraw2015-08-25

  Wooden acting, and I don't just mean the doll! This is 'Child's play' with less dark comedy moments. *incoming spoilers* This old bat gets sacked as a house keeper and as she leaves she gives the family boy the ugliest doll since Chucky's last dump. Odd things happen, paintings get ruined, foot prints (CLEARLY not belonging to the boy) appear about the place. Mummy blames the boy. A baby sitter gets killed. Mummy gets taken as a crack pot by daddy. Realise doll is possessed. Doll goes whacko-Jacko. No bugger thinks to burn the stupid thing from the start. Doll gets it's comeuppance. Evil spirit enters boy. NOW!!! Why the mother spotted the paint foot-prints and doesn't know her son well enough to realise they are flippin' square prints, ergo NOT her son's, is a mystery. Why she insists on yelling at her son about it rather than looking at the sodding doll two feet away (with red paint all over it's feet) is another odd ball moment. Why, when she decides it must be the doll, she locks it in a shed full of garden tools rather than incinerating the bloody minded mannequin is stupid move round 3. How this jerky badly animated lump of kindling manages to overcome anyone enough to kill them is laughable. Why, when it advances on mum at the top of the stairs with a baseball bat (and takes a week to reach her) she simply slides down the wall to a convenient head height for the doll, rather than launching a good hard boot into the thing and making with the big legs out of there... who the heck knows. All of the above with a couple of dozen other 'what the fekk are you doing'? moments make this movie a face-palm mess from the start. 3 out of 10 because the doll didn't fluff it's lines and they managed to find the budget to make it in colour. Utter twaddle, but if you want to scare your 4 year old daughter then this might (and I stress the word might) just about do it.

• Don't waste your time on this.

  djangozelf-123512015-08-25

  Horror is a real overstatement here. Maybe some terror but than for little kids. Acting was just terrible. The doll looked like the son of Chucky but even less scary the whole movie thru. You don't see him move and his actions are lame. The movie fails in so many ways it's a worst than a B-flick and even a T.V. movie. Really nothing positive about this production. You are better of watching anything else. It's that bad of a...well. Something negative. Minus 10 if possible.